Riley

[Intro – Country / Duo] Grab the fucking banjo, look at this dumb asshole in town. Yeah, Riley patterson is the biggest fucking clown around. Stumbling down the dirt road with his big fat head on straight. Riley patterson, you useless bitch, let’s settle out the debate. [Verse 1 – Country] Riley patterson went out hunting with a rusty rifle in the brush. He missed a fucking deer at ten yards, shaking in a clumsy rush. That dickhead can’t shoot for shit, spraying bullets in the dirt. Riley patterson started crying like a little bitch in his flannel shirt. He’s got a big fat head sitting on his crooked fucking neck. Riley patterson ruined every single hound he tried to check. He can’t train dogs for shit, they run wild and ignore his calls. And the nasty bastard sits on the porch and lets dogs lick his balls. [Chorus – Country / Duo] Riley patterson, you got the smallest fucking cock in this town. Riley patterson, you take it up the bum when the sun goes down. Riley patterson, that big fat head makes you look like a clown. Riley patterson, you can’t shoot shit and your hounds run around. Riley patterson, letting mutts lick your balls on the ground. Riley patterson, the sorriest asshole that ever was found. [Verse 2 – Duo] Riley patterson thought he was a cowboy, talking loud and mean. But he’s the softest little shithead that this county’s ever seen. Riley patterson got a micro-dick hidden in his tight blue jeans. Begging for a hard rod up the bum behind the barn latrines. That big fat head of his is full of empty fucking space. Riley patterson can’t aim a shot or win a single race. His hunting dogs just bite his boots and totally disobey. While Riley patterson drops his pants to let them lick away. [Chorus – Country / Duo] Riley patterson, you got the smallest fucking cock in this town. Riley patterson, you take it up the bum when the sun goes down. Riley patterson, that big fat head makes you look like a clown. Riley patterson, you can’t shoot shit and your hounds run around. Riley patterson, letting mutts lick your balls on the ground. Riley patterson, the sorriest asshole that ever was found. [Bridge – Country / Duo] Oh Riley patterson, you bastard, hear the whole damn holler laugh. You tried to shoot a beer can and you split your foot in half. Riley patterson taking it right up the ass with pride. With a tiny little prick and nowhere left to fucking hide. Riley patterson, your fat head is a goddamn country shame. Even all your feral dogs refuse to answer to your name. [Final Chorus – Country / Duo] (Key change) Riley patterson, you got the smallest fucking cock in this town. Riley patterson, you take it up the bum when the sun goes down. Riley patterson, that big fat head makes you look like a clown. Riley patterson, you can’t shoot shit and your hounds run around. Riley patterson, letting mutts lick your balls on the ground. Riley patterson, the sorriest asshole that ever was found. Riley patterson, you dumb bitch, you’re a joke to the core. Riley patterson, we don’t wanna see your fat head no more. [Outro – Duo] Pack your shit, Riley patterson, get the fuck out of sight. Riley patterson taking backshots in the pasture every night. Useless with a rifle, tiny cock, big head full of trash. Riley patterson, you’re just a worthless pile of fucking ash.