Having Haircut Best

[Intro] (Male Lead) Wayne sits down in the fucking chair today, Wayne gets clipped by the best without delay, Wayne knows every single fucking snip is tight, Wayne looks fucking lethal under barber light. [Verse 1 – Drill] (Male Lead) Look at Wayne, that arrogant fucking prick, Wayne is getting faded with a fucking brick, Wayne needs a trim 'cause he's a lazy scrote, Wayne wears a disgusting stained and greasy coat. Listen to Wayne, what a fucking useless clown, Wayne is the biggest knobhead in this town, Wayne couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery, Wayne's entire haircut is a fucking tragedy. You absolute melt, Wayne, you waste of good oxygen, Wayne is sitting there like a fucking sodden hen, Wayne's a fucking shithouse, look at his bald patch, Wayne could never win a single barber match. Wayne you little toerag, you're a fucking pillock, Wayne is getting scalped like a greasy bullock, Wayne is a bottle job, get in the sea right now, Wayne is as thick as two short planks, I vow. [Hook] (Ensemble Call and Response) Wayne! Wayne! Wayne is looking fucking supreme! Wayne! Wayne! Wayne is living the best barber dream! Wayne! Wayne! Wayne gets the absolute freshest fade! Wayne! Wayne! Wayne is the finest cut ever made! [Verse 2 – R&B] (Female Lead) Oh Wayne, you smooth and sexy fucking twat, Wayne, let me stroke the little hair you've got, Wayne, you make my fucking ovaries ache tonight, Wayne, your freshly shaved skin is looking so right. Wayne, let me whisper sweet obscenities in your ear, Wayne, you're the best fucking client in here, Wayne, your barber is an artist with the blade, Wayne, look at the gorgeous gradient he made. Wayne, your mum told me you're a gorgeous sinner, Wayne, you're my favorite absolute winner, Wayne, let me touch that fade before you leave, Wayne, you've got me ready to fucking heave, Not from disgust, but from sheer fucking lust, Wayne, your gorgeous head is a total must, Wayne, you sexy bastard, take off that gown, Wayne, you're the baddest fucking boy in town. [Hook] (Ensemble Call and Response) Wayne! Wayne! Wayne is looking fucking supreme! Wayne! Wayne! Wayne is living the best barber dream! Wayne! Wayne! Wayne gets the freshest fade! Wayne! Wayne! Wayne is the finest cut ever made! [Bridge] (Spoken Delivery) Listen up, Wayne, you massive bellend, Wayne, this fucking session has got to end, Wayne, pay the fucking barber and get the fuck out, Wayne, stop crying like a fucking baby, without a doubt, Wayne, you're a Greggs reject with pastry on your chin, Wayne, put your fucking beanie back on and grin. [Verse 3 – Drill] (Contrasting Character Voice) Wayne is back on the fucking street again, Wayne thinks he's hard with a fucking fountain pen, Wayne is a roadman reject, standing by the shop, Wayne's fresh trim is about to fucking drop. Wayne's got coins for the portal, what a fucking VIP, Wayne's a cooked little bitch on the fucking spree, Wayne's got a mid vibe, but the hair is elite, Wayne struts down the pavement on the fucking street. Wayne is the OG of looking like a prick, Wayne takes another fucking selfie very quick, Wayne thinks he's the boss of this concrete slum, Wayne's haircut cost more than he gave his mum. [Hook] (Ensemble Call and Response) Wayne! Wayne! Wayne is looking fucking supreme! Wayne! Wayne! Wayne is living the best barber dream! Wayne! Wayne! Wayne gets the absolute freshest fade! Wayne! Wayne! Wayne is the finest cut ever made! [Hook] (Ensemble Call and Response) Wayne! Wayne! Wayne is looking fucking supreme! Wayne! Wayne! Wayne is living the best barber dream! Wayne! Wayne! Wayne gets the absolute freshest fade! Wayne! Wayne! Wayne is the finest cut ever made! [Outro] (Ensemble Ad-libs) Wayne, get the fuck gone! Wayne, you ugly cunt! Wayne, nice fucking barnet! Wayne!