Steve's Wheelchair

[Intro – Male Lead] The wheels on the wheelchair go round and round, Steve Mayling is hunting all over the town, He spies a sweet chick with a metal machine, The freakiest bastard you ever have seen. [Verse 1 – Nursery Rhyme / Female Lead] The wheels on the wheelchair go round and round, Round and round, Round and round. The wheels on the wheelchair go round and round, All through the fucking ward. Steve Mayling is creeping and acting a clown, Chasing down cripples all over the town. He spots a fine bitch with a leather-strap seat, And drops to his knees right there in the street. She rolls with a swagger, she breaks all the rules, While Steve is a wanker surrounded by fools. He loves every squeak of the pivoting casters, Faster and faster, you motherfucking busters! [Hook – Call-and-Response Group Vocals] (Male:) The wheels on the wheelchair go round and round! (Female:) You fucking bellend, get off the ground! (All:) Steve Mayling is horny, he loves the chrome, He’s taking a crippled young honey back home! The brakes on the wheelchair go screech and stop, (Female:) You absolute shithouse, you need to drop! (All:) He rides the rubber, he grips the spokes, While everyone’s laughing and puking at jokes! [Verse 2 – Rap-Forward Track / Contrasting Character Voice] Listen up, you stupid scrote, Steve is on a heavy trip, Looking for a paraplegic honey with a busted hip. He grabs the handles on the back and starts to push her fast, A fucking pervert lunatic who’s built to fucking last. No mid-level bullshit, this is savage fucking gold, A dirty little fantasy that never gets too old. He checks the tyre pressure and he lubes up all the bearings, While random fucking onlookers are giving dirty starings. You waste of good oxygen, look at him grin, He’s paying his coins just to enter the spin. The portal is open, the VIP track is dropped, Steve Mayling’s obsession can never be stopped! [Hook – Call-and-Response Group Vocals] (Male:) The wheels on the wheelchair go round and round! (Female:) You fucking bellend, get off the ground! (All:) Steve Mayling is horny, he loves the chrome, He’s taking a crippled young honey back home! The brakes on the wheelchair go screech and stop, (Female:) You absolute shithouse, you need to drop! (All:) He rides the rubber, he grips the spokes, While everyone’s laughing and puking at jokes! [Bridge – Spoken Delivery / Layered Ensemble Harmonies] (Spoken, deep bass voice:) Hold up. Let’s talk about the OG of the ward. Steve Mayling doesn't want a basic bitch on foot. He wants that caster-wheel torque, that footrest locked in tight, Rolling down the fucking corridor deep into the night. (Harmonies rising:) Round and round, You dirty clown! [Verse 3 – Simple Playful Nursery-Rhyme Melody / Female Lead] The straps on the footrest go tight and snug, Tight and snug, Tight and snug. The straps on the footrest go tight and snug, While Steve acts a fucking maggot. He kisses the rims and he licks the tyre, Setting the whole fucking hospital on fire. Steve Mayling is cooked in his tiny brain, A absolute shithouse high out on the train. The brakes don't matter, the speed is high, We wave as the wheelchair goes rolling by! [Hook – Call-and-Response Group Vocals] (Male:) The wheels on the wheelchair go round and round! (Female:) You fucking bellend, get off the ground! (All:) Steve Mayling is horny, he loves the chrome, He’s taking a crippled young honey back home! The brakes on the wheelchair go screech and stop, (Female:) You absolute shithouse, you need to drop! (All:) He rides the rubber, he grips the spokes, While everyone’s laughing and puking at jokes! [Hook – Call-and-Response Group Vocals] (Male:) The wheels on the wheelchair go round and round! (Female:) You fucking bellend, get off the ground! (All:) Steve Mayling is horny, he loves the chrome, He’s taking a crippled young honey back home! The brakes on the wheelchair go screech and stop, (Female:) You absolute shithouse, you need to drop! (All:) He rides the rubber, he grips the spokes, While everyone’s laughing and puking at jokes! [Outro – Layered Ensemble Harmonies] Round and round go the fucking wheels, Hear the screeching metal and the squealing squeals! Steve Mayling wins the prize for the sickest prick, Now push that wheelchair fast and fucking quick!